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Started by molotov coqtiiz at 05-19-2009 10:20 PM. Topic has 53 replies.
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   05-19-2009, 10:20 PM
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Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?

WARNING: I did do it, and I will do it again.
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   05-19-2009, 10:41 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
     For trying to make amends no, for verbally assaulting a feral child in the first place... Next time try to get your point across in a less derogatory way. Sure he deserved to have an ear full but the little guys just playing adult, the real responsible party was the foul mouthed delinquent playing the role of his parent. Im sure he was also being goaded on by his teammates and likely some of your own teammates as well.

Methinks people first post and perhaps then later read on.
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   05-20-2009, 12:13 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
I think going off on him, in the first place was extreme. I'm quite sure that he deserved it but, just move on. Don't let children like that, keep getting a rise out of you.

The mother, on the other hand, has no right to keep after you like that.



I'd rather be terrible at something I love, than good at something I hate.....
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   05-20-2009, 12:31 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
as already stated saying the stuff you said back to the child was probably a bad idea even if he did deserve it. what you did after trying to made ammends was a good idea and to be honest you have done your bit and you shoudn't worry about the mother. she was out of line if she acted like that. i would move on and forget about the whole situation and remember for next time not to retaliate.
Follow your dreams, for as you dream you shall become
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   05-20-2009, 1:29 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 Oldgamer68 wrote:
I think going off on him, in the first place was extreme. I'm quite sure that he deserved it but, just move on. Don't let children like that, keep getting a rise out of you.The mother, on the other hand, has no right to keep after you like that.

Agreed. Kids need to stop talking like that. He talked smack and then got smacked back. He showed how immature he was first by trash talking and second for crying about getting smacked back. However, if we want children to talk more like children, not like sailors, we should LEAD BY EXAMPLE!
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   05-20-2009, 4:31 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
Well it seems from the actions of the mother that's exactly where the child learned it from. Even though I am not a father I still believe it is the responsibility of the parents for what their child(ren) do(es) online.

I can't blame you one bit for giving him a taste of his own medicine even though it was the wrong thing to do. Sadly the only thing I would have done different was to not apologize afterward. This is why I rarely ever play online. Too many unsupervised children and too many adults that were never raised properly to contend with on top of all the other stress I deal with on a daily basis. I just don't need the extra crap to deal with.

I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident.
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   05-20-2009, 12:29 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
This is a classic no win situation. The mouths on some of these kids is absolutely ridiculous and if anyone needed to be yelled at it was the mother of the little *******. That being said, at the end of the day you are the adult and you are expected to be the bigger man (or woman in this case) fair or not. My rule is "If you can't boot 'em, then mute 'em!". Regardless of age, idiots that feel brave when they have internet anonymity love it when you go back at them. Don't even bother playing into thier hands.
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   05-20-2009, 1:39 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.

I am the father of a12 year old gamer and a gamer my self, i too go off online i think trash talking it's part of the online multiplayer experience, in my opinion XBOXLIVE along with microsoft should take more responsability when it comes to parents orientation they need to sell it as it is, xboxlive360 is like a pc it needs constant adult supervision.Parents need to know exacly what kids can do online and what they are expose to.I don't think more online or hardware regulations is the best approach to this matter,we need to make sure parents know everything about it before they expose their kids to xboxlive!

 

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   05-20-2009, 2:43 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 hexacyde wrote:
Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?


The kid got what he deserved. If he wasn't playing an adult rated game he wouldn't have had this happen. I'm not going to blame you for any part of what you did as I would have done the same thing. Now maybe when he gets into an m rated game online he'll think twice about trash talking someone. As for the mother, she needs therapy if she didn't think her kid was wrong and to blame for what happened. Kudos to you for trying to make amends as I would not have been that gracious.
This is one example of a kid not being monitored while on LIVE...how many more are out there?

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   05-20-2009, 3:43 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 whatisneo wrote:
 hexacyde wrote:
Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?


The kid got what he deserved. If he wasn't playing an adult rated game he wouldn't have had this happen. I'm not going to blame you for any part of what you did as I would have done the same thing. Now maybe when he gets into an m rated game online he'll think twice about trash talking someone. As for the mother, she needs therapy if she didn't think her kid was wrong and to blame for what happened. Kudos to you for trying to make amends as I would not have been that gracious.
This is one example of a kid not being monitored while on LIVE...how many more are out there?


oh dear. i can never get my head around that statement. maybe it's because i'm a child myself.
Follow your dreams, for as you dream you shall become
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   05-20-2009, 3:45 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 XBX360Dad wrote:
This is a classic no win situation. The mouths on some of these kids is absolutely ridiculous and if anyone needed to be yelled at it was the mother of the little *******. That being said, at the end of the day you are the adult and you are expected to be the bigger man (or woman in this case) fair or not. My rule is "If you can't boot 'em, then mute 'em!". Regardless of age, idiots that feel brave when they have internet anonymity love it when you go back at them. Don't even bother playing into thier hands.

Agreed. Internet anonymity reminds me of the term "Telephone tough-guy". That's how people trash-talked for no reason before the Internet.

Many good points above. I've said this on many similar threads (too many to list actually Indifferent [:|]) before this one; "The bottom line is parents need to parent not use the video game as a pacifier."
Unofficial Gamerparents Play Date/Meet & Greet Thread
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   05-20-2009, 8:04 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 XBX360Dad wrote:
"If you can't boot 'em, then mute 'em!".

Methinks people first post and perhaps then later read on.
One of many, last of two.
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   05-20-2009, 8:18 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 whatisneo wrote:
 hexacyde wrote:
Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?


The kid got what he deserved. If he wasn't playing an adult rated game he wouldn't have had this happen. I'm not going to blame you for any part of what you did as I would have done the same thing. Now maybe when he gets into an m rated game online he'll think twice about trash talking someone. As for the mother, she needs therapy if she didn't think her kid was wrong and to blame for what happened. Kudos to you for trying to make amends as I would not have been that gracious.
This is one example of a kid not being monitored while on LIVE...how many more are out there?
agreed, take that little kid

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   05-20-2009, 9:40 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
I say kudos to you! that needs to learn that what goes around comes around. Now the mother, well she needs a bit of a dose of reality and needs to monitor her kid without him know (the kid is most likely a angel while she is in the room.)
its PUTT-KER not POET-KER
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   05-20-2009, 9:50 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
I just cant believe his mum thought he didnt say anything. You should have recorded it somehow. Im sure all public chats are recorded and then imagine how the mum would feel when she finds out what her son says.
I like a challenge...
... I only hate it when I can't solve it
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   05-21-2009, 11:56 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
It doesn't matter how old another player is. If they are spewing expletives and offensive "trash talk", use the tools that are provided with Live. Mute the player and leave appropriate feedback. When you mute them, you don't hear them. When you leave feedback it makes it a little harder to meet them online again and it also let's Microsoft know a player needs help with the Terms of Use. Going off  on them simply validates their behavior and continues the cycle of bad behavior.

As far as your question about being out of line, the answer is yes. You were both in violation of Live's Terms of Use. It makes no differance who was first.

-Death
This posting is provided "as is" with no warranties, confers no rights and may not make sense.
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   05-22-2009, 5:39 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
Thanks guys for everything, this sort of resolved itself in the end. Fortunately nothing dragged on and everything's calmed down a bit, just a slight rep hit. :D  Again, thank you for everything all of you, not being a parent I don't know how it feels to have a gamer-child but I know after this I'm going to try to avoid laying into kids >.>

WARNING: I did do it, and I will do it again.
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   05-22-2009, 7:48 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
I have two gamer children and I blame the parent of that child. This child is not mature enough to be playing without, at the very least, intermittent supervision. You would think the parent(s) would at least try to eaves drop occasionally to hear what their child might be saying. I personally have a seperate tag that my kids don't know about. If they are playing Burnout or something where I can search via host name and join their room I will mute my mic and just listen while playing. I can say I've never caught my daughter saying anything inappropiate, but my son who is ten is another story. He actually called me a stupid idiot because I missed a jump while doing a challenge. Again, he didn't know it was me, but I "overheard" him and he lost his 360/Wii/PS3/DS privileges for two weeks. parents has a whole need to take more time nurturing/raising their children and having a more proactive role in their development than just throwing them on a game that they are probably not mature enough to play to begin with and not bothering with them.
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   05-22-2009, 8:45 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.

All im saying is----------Welcome to the internet---------it can happen on any system,any multiplayer game or chatroom on a computer or games machine.With respect we all should sorta have a good idea on what could happen and knowing very well entering a game of world war with big guns and death isnt going to be very friendly game at all at the best of times

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   05-22-2009, 2:28 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
All I can say, is bravo to the OP!!!!  Some of these kids need to be verbally smacked down if they're gonna go THAT far out of line, esp. when the parents won't do it.  No offense to anyone in here, but if the parents are that delusional or naive to believe that their "precious and innocent" little boy or girl could never cuss or threaten people, then either A) they are too busy to pay attention to what their kids are REALLY doing, or B) they simply don't care.  Either way, if that kid's ***** mother wants to yell at you, let her.  You did the right thing by blocking comms with that kid's GT, but looking at how the mom reacted, I can see how the kid ended up the way he did.  Some people just arent cut out to be good parents, but are too stupid to realize it until it's too late.  If people keep having kids like that, I really AM scared for the future of this country and of the world.
 MrCommodore18 wrote:
CFB is one big beauty peagant with a fake miss universe.
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   05-22-2009, 2:32 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 Mini Evil Panda wrote:
I just cant believe his mum thought he didnt say anything. You should have recorded it somehow. Im sure all public chats are recorded and then imagine how the mum would feel when she finds out what her son says.


Based on how the mom reacted, she'd either beat the kid or cuss him out, only leading him to keep being a little p**ck online.
 MrCommodore18 wrote:
CFB is one big beauty peagant with a fake miss universe.
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   05-23-2009, 6:42 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 NRN Mojo Jojo wrote:
I have two gamer children and I blame the parent of that child. This child is not mature enough to be playing without, at the very least, intermittent supervision. You would think the parent(s) would at least try to eaves drop occasionally to hear what their child might be saying. I personally have a seperate tag that my kids don't know about. If they are playing Burnout or something where I can search via host name and join their room I will mute my mic and just listen while playing. I can say I've never caught my daughter saying anything inappropiate, but my son who is ten is another story. He actually called me a stupid idiot because I missed a jump while doing a challenge. Again, he didn't know it was me, but I "overheard" him and he lost his 360/Wii/PS3/DS privileges for two weeks. parents has a whole need to take more time nurturing/raising their children and having a more proactive role in their development than just throwing them on a game that they are probably not mature enough to play to begin with and not bothering with them.
hahaha, funny story, lol. But now they would know your tag, or do you keep on making new ones?
I like a challenge...
... I only hate it when I can't solve it
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   05-24-2009, 7:52 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
No, see that's the beauty of it. He thinks I overheard him from the other room. He didn't even think that it could be me in the room. I am ususally "napping"  when I do this.
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   05-24-2009, 5:06 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 hexacyde wrote:
Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?


Yes, i believe you were out of line with the part i put in bold. But his mom coming on and stalking you and harassing you is also out of line.

 Moppy Slogwai wrote:
have I eaten too many bowls of retard soup?
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   05-24-2009, 10:00 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 NRN Mojo Jojo wrote:
No, see that's the beauty of it. He thinks I overheard him from the other room. He didn't even think that it could be me in the room. I am ususally "napping"  when I do this.
lol, funny. Keep it up Wink [;)]
I like a challenge...
... I only hate it when I can't solve it
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   05-29-2009, 8:05 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
I believe in "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth". if someone harasses you, than you should be able to harass them.
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, The world will know true peace.
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   05-29-2009, 9:51 PM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
   That philosophy has its limits.

Methinks people first post and perhaps then later read on.
One of many, last of two.
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   05-30-2009, 9:25 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
Yes it does, an eye for an eye turns the whole world blind Wink [;)]
I like a challenge...
... I only hate it when I can't solve it
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   05-30-2009, 10:32 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 Mini Evil Panda wrote:
Yes it does, an eye for an eye turns the whole world blind

    Yes [Y] Hes Mini, hes Evil, hes Panda and hes also 100% correct.

Methinks people first post and perhaps then later read on.
One of many, last of two.
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   05-31-2009, 10:13 AM
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Re: Maybe I'm just not seeing the fairness.
 DeathscytheHC wrote:
It doesn't matter how old another player is. If they are spewing expletives and offensive "trash talk", use the tools that are provided with Live. Mute the player and leave appropriate feedback. When you mute them, you don't hear them. When you leave feedback it makes it a little harder to meet them online again and it also let's Microsoft know a player needs help with the Terms of Use. Going off  on them simply validates their behavior and continues the cycle of bad behavior.

As far as your question about being out of line, the answer is yes. You were both in violation of Live's Terms of Use. It makes no differance who was first.

-Death


I think Death hit it right on. There are tools built into Xbox Live for this very reason. Mute the player, and leave appropriate feedback or file a complaint. There is no need for an altercation at all. Problem solved. Please try this approach in the future with anyone who causes you a problem, or for anyone else you may be playing with who encounters a similar problem. If responsible gamers want Xbox Live to be a great place, then we need to use the tools at our disposal, and practice good manners ourselves to set the example for other gamers out there. Lead by example folks!

Xbox360 Zero Hour Launch Party VIP, Xbox Live Beta Tester.
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