Pondering over all of the replies and even the OP, I wonder how many are actually adults here replying to this thread. When you here a child (that includes teenagers, you're not grown yet) use foul or inappropriate language, You reprimand them for their language and try to encourage them to use better language. Returning the attitude back towards a child that was given to you is not mature or the proper thing to do at all. This only degrades you as a person and shows that you have little self esteem as well as parenting skills yourself. If your anger subsides you to use such language back to a child then you need to grow up, seek anger management classes, or seek psychiatric help.

Children will always "test' their boundaries to see how far they can go without the situation at hand being rectified. It's our jobs as a parent to keep those boundaries intact while making sure the child knows them as well. I've also heard on numerous occasions where adults would use vulgar language in a child's presence. You cannot have the case scenario "Do as your told, not as I do". Children learn from watching and hearing. When they hear adults swearing, using profanity, and using other obscene language, you cannot expect them to rear up with good standing morals and values and expect them to behave this way in the presence of others. Which by the way, I wonder how many times that very same child will use the words that the OP spoke to them to make him/her feel grown up now since it came from an adult?

A rule of the thumb I use while online when hearing a child speak in an obscene manner is to correct them right away and tell them to keep those filthy words out of their mouth and to keep their mouth clean. It works quite well to do this. I've also witnessed adults trash talking themselves belittling children while online claiming "this is an easy win, these people have no skills". Those words my friend are words from an adult that needs attention from online peers to make themselves feel better about themself. That is very immature as well. Children do not care about so called "skills" nor do they even know what it implies. All a child is their to do is seek attention while playing a "game". Most forget that they are playing a game.

A 360 is not a pacifier., It is an electronic toy that plays video games. I don't think I know of any kid that can stick a 360 in their mouth. Boy that was a nice reply. Judging by the majority of the replies I can see where gang related children are coming from.

---

Never argue with an Idiot. He'll only bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

mute them or block communications

---

Eminem is the best rapper alive

 NRN Mojo Jojo wrote:

You would think the parent(s) would at least try to eaves drop occasionally to hear what their child might be saying. I personally have a seperate tag that my kids don't know about. If they are playing Burnout or something where I can search via host name and join their room I will mute my mic and just listen while playing.

Love it!

---

Nietzsche was right.

Boy this is a toughy, could go both ways. I too have made a kid cry after he thought it was cool to take me on in a bash challenge. I guess my thought was if his parents won't put him in his place then I guess I will. Now I'm not saying that what I did was right but I will tell you that if I am in a public place and I have some little kid talk to me like that I will put him in his place, parent or no parent around. For me its all about respect and the lack thereof on Xbox live. I guess the big question is where are the parents and why aren't they putting a halt to this?

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lousyatgaming.com

 Geargarious wrote:

Now I'm not saying that what I did was right but I will tell you that if I am in a public place and I have some little kid talk to me like that I will put him in his place, parent or no parent around. For me its all about respect and the lack thereof on Xbox live. I guess the big question is where are the parents and why aren't they putting a halt to this?

I strongly agree with that. Back when I was a kid, All adults you came in contact with would do the same thing. As a matter of fact, it was welcomed. It gave the original parents a chance to know that their child was misbehaving because the correcting adult would also tell the parents about the incident. I even do it that myself but I use speaking as to telling them to keep their mouth clean. That noone wants to hear a potty mouth. I tell them that others respect them more for talking civilized.

 I think it all lies in discipline. Today's economy has become too lenient on children and are allowing them to do more than was allowed back when I was young or when my parents were young. I can't count the times I had to go get my mom a switch to get my own butt tore up. I sure never wanted her to tell my Step-Dad about anything or I got it twice. Spanking kids today has become considered abuse and it's crazy. It didn't kill me or cause me to become an angry person later on in life, instead it made me thank them and realize that what they did was for my benefit later in life.

As loud as I hear some of the younger crowd using vulgarity or obscene language, it makes me also wonder where exactly are the parents of the children at hand. I often wonder if they allow their kids to speak in such manner or do they even monitor or care what their children are doing and if they are raised into respectful adults or not.

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Never argue with an Idiot. He'll only bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 Mkadt wrote:

 Geargarious wrote:

Now I'm not saying that what I did was right but I will tell you that if I am in a public place and I have some little kid talk to me like that I will put him in his place, parent or no parent around. For me its all about respect and the lack thereof on Xbox live. I guess the big question is where are the parents and why aren't they putting a halt to this?

I strongly agree with that. Back when I was a kid, All adults you came in contact with would do the same thing. As a matter of fact, it was welcomed. It gave the original parents a chance to know that their child was misbehaving because the correcting adult would also tell the parents about the incident. I even do it that myself but I use speaking as to telling them to keep their mouth clean. That noone wants to hear a potty mouth. I tell them that others respect them more for talking civilized.

 I think it all lies in discipline. Today's economy has become too lenient on children and are allowing them to do more than was allowed back when I was young or when my parents were young. I can't count the times I had to go get my mom a switch to get my own butt tore up. I sure never wanted her to tell my Step-Dad about anything or I got it twice. Spanking kids today has become considered abuse and it's crazy. It didn't kill me or cause me to become an angry person later on in life, instead it made me thank them and realize that what they did was for my benefit later in life.

As loud as I hear some of the younger crowd using vulgarity or obscene language, it makes me also wonder where exactly are the parents of the children at hand. I often wonder if they allow their kids to speak in such manner or do they even monitor or care what their children are doing and if they are raised into respectful adults or not.

I agree with this. I think people and parents out there need to realise what's going on. A lot of kids take things nowa days for granted that wasnt even around in the old days. Someone needs to speak out...

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I like a challenge...
... I only hate it when I can't solve it

 Mini Evil Panda wrote:

 Mkadt wrote:

 Geargarious wrote:

Now I'm not saying that what I did was right but I will tell you that if I am in a public place and I have some little kid talk to me like that I will put him in his place, parent or no parent around. For me its all about respect and the lack thereof on Xbox live. I guess the big question is where are the parents and why aren't they putting a halt to this?

I strongly agree with that. Back when I was a kid, All adults you came in contact with would do the same thing. As a matter of fact, it was welcomed. It gave the original parents a chance to know that their child was misbehaving because the correcting adult would also tell the parents about the incident. I even do it that myself but I use speaking as to telling them to keep their mouth clean. That noone wants to hear a potty mouth. I tell them that others respect them more for talking civilized.

 I think it all lies in discipline. Today's economy has become too lenient on children and are allowing them to do more than was allowed back when I was young or when my parents were young. I can't count the times I had to go get my mom a switch to get my own butt tore up. I sure never wanted her to tell my Step-Dad about anything or I got it twice. Spanking kids today has become considered abuse and it's crazy. It didn't kill me or cause me to become an angry person later on in life, instead it made me thank them and realize that what they did was for my benefit later in life.

As loud as I hear some of the younger crowd using vulgarity or obscene language, it makes me also wonder where exactly are the parents of the children at hand. I often wonder if they allow their kids to speak in such manner or do they even monitor or care what their children are doing and if they are raised into respectful adults or not.

I agree with this. I think people and parents out there need to realise what's going on. A lot of kids take things nowa days for granted that wasnt even around in the old days. Someone needs to speak out...

I agree with all of that. refuse to take crap from the little kids on live and I do put them in their place. I'm not afraid if they "go tell mommy you ******" I hate that. Like oh no you cursed at me!! You are so bad freakin quantum singularity little boy. Seriously, headsets need an age limit

---

Yes I'm a girl. Do NOT friends request me based on that. Do NOT tell me you love me or call me a ***. It's ridiculous.

 hexacyde wrote:

Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?

Tell that mother that you can blow up her 360 with your mind, that'll teach her a lesson to mess with you!

If she still sends you messages just report her.

Oh and don't apologize to them, it shows them that they won.

---

I can do a thousand push-ups when no one is looking.

We have our Live zone set to "Family". I don't know if the zone settings determine who you are paired against on Live, but if they are not, they SHOULD be. I remember when I first set up our profiles, it clearly stated that the Underground zone was where trash talking was tolerated and encouraged. Maybe if the original poster changes her zone, she'll have better luck online. If that's even how it works. I understand complaining against trash talkers on any other zone, but it seems to me that if you're part of the Underground zone, you should know what you're getting into beforehand.

 Mkadt wrote:

Pondering over all of the replies and even the OP, I wonder how many are actually adults here replying to this thread...

Children learn from watching and hearing. When they hear adults swearing, using profanity, and using other obscene language, you cannot expect them to rear up with good standing morals and values and expect them to behave this way in the presence of others. Which by the way, I wonder how many times that very same child will use the words that the OP spoke to them to make him/her feel grown up now since it came from an adult? ...

A 360 is not a pacifier. It is an electronic toy that plays video games. I don't think I know of any kid that can stick a 360 in their mouth.

I agree with the portions quoted above. Kids are a product of their home and upbringing. A simplier statement is, "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree." There is nothing you can do about these children. It's not your responsilbility. They've obviously been allowed to hear and say these things with no parental care. When you encounter them try to remember, you are the adult. Use the "Avoid" feature, mute them, file the complaint and move on.

As far as feeling bad, you've probably punished yourself more over this than anyone else could. People, even grown-ups, make mistakes. Block communications and try not to repeat the same mistake.

 CABAL 117 wrote:

We have our Live zone set to "Family". I don't know if the zone settings determine who you are paired against on Live, but if they are not, they SHOULD be. I remember when I first set up our profiles, it clearly stated that the Underground zone was where trash talking was tolerated and encouraged. Maybe if the original poster changes her zone, she'll have better luck online. If that's even how it works. I understand complaining against trash talkers on any other zone, but it seems to me that if you're part of the Underground zone, you should know what you're getting into beforehand.

They are not.  My setting, as well as most of my friends', is Pro, yet on numerous occassions on COD4 I see GTs in the Family zone.  The zones don't really affect who you can or can't play with, it's more of an expression of how you feel about gaming and a profile thing, basically how competitive you are or how seriously you take the game.  To use an analogy, it's like one of the spare buttons on an old-school stereo: it makes the stereo look cool, but it doesn't really do anything. lol

---

 MrCommodore18 wrote:

CFB is one big beauty peagant with a fake miss universe.

Behaving like he did was unacceptable but, you shouldn't have thrown it back at him no matter how old he is or what kind of language he is using.

When I encounter somebody like that I usualy ask them why the're acting so hostile and if they refuse to discuss with me like a mature person and keep up the sad behavior I block communications and file a complaint.

 Xtr3m3Shrapn3L wrote:

I think Death hit it right on. There are tools built into Xbox Live for this very reason. Mute the player, and leave appropriate feedback or file a complaint. There is no need for an altercation at all. Problem solved. Please try this approach in the future with anyone who causes you a problem, or for anyone else you may be playing with who encounters a similar problem. If responsible gamers want Xbox Live to be a great place, then we need to use the tools at our disposal, and practice good manners ourselves to set the example for other gamers out there. Lead by example folks!

I don't know.  Part of me says that just muting somebody does nothing to CORRECT the original problem.  I think everybody has a degree of responsibility no mattter what the situation to correct wrong behaviour.  Its like seeing somebody hit and run and not reporting it.  As a responsible member of society I believe we all have a burden of responsiblity. In the xbox environment, aside from laying into the kid, the best thing you can do is be exceptionally polite, tell the kid to stop or you will file a complaint, then do exactly that.

Now to the original question.  No you probably didn't do the right thing by laying in to the kid, and apologizing probably actually made the situation worse.  Not to be rude, but you are only 20 yourself, so you likely just lost your cool.  It happens to anybody.  You have to do what we all do, learn by your mistake, don't repeat it and move on.  I know a kid nearly provoked me into doing the same thing the other day, so I know where you're coming from.  Oh, and as another poster suggested some of the poster may actually be fairly young, for what its worth, I am more than old enough to be your father.

Final comment that sort of goes along with one of the above posts.  If the parent won't parent, then apparently the responsiblity falls to the rest of us, unless we just want to let the whole world go to crap one generation at a time.

---

Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery
Overcome youth and arrogance!

 hexacyde wrote:

Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?

You are awesome.

I have retaliated with words once or twice but for the most part I mute and use the feed back system or file a complaint if they really give an ear full. Amazing what comes out of some these kids mouths, and yes I have kids of my own. and if my kids  say any crap I can only blame myself for not teaching them right, hopefully Ill do a good job.

---

I am a legend, in my own mind.
If u play for fun, then feel free to add me.

www.twitter.com/gilbymartinez

"Never argue with an idiot. They just drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."

Same can be said with retaliating online. Who is wrong when both people are far outside the realms of the Terms of Use? It's irrelevant who started it when both parties are clearly wrong. Use the tools that are available, that is the best way to get someone back that is being abusive.

-Death

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This posting is provided "as is" with no warranties, confers no rights and may not make sense.

 hexacyde wrote:

Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?

You think what he said was bad, have you ever played halo 3 multiplayer? I was sworn at by a 7 year old for 3 mins straight.

 Nick of Blades wrote:

 hexacyde wrote:

Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?

You think what he said was bad, have you ever played halo 3 multiplayer? I was sworn at by a 7 year old for 3 mins straight.

Ya halo 3 multiplayer is really bad but i think you did everything right. I wouldnt have done anything diffrent.

Dang if only I could have the lil' snot nosed kids gamertag... oh back on topic your my new hero I never made a kid cry on live before!

---

Playing CoD instantly makes you a gun expert.

I hate getting cursed out. I dont think its childish to curse at them back.

Honestly, anyone 12 and under does NOT need a headset. All they cause is trouble.

The fact that she said "darling son" had me rollin XD

---

Yes I'm a girl. Do NOT friends request me based on that. Do NOT tell me you love me or call me a ***. It's ridiculous.

 hexacyde wrote:

Okay, so lately I've taken a stance against kids and multiplayer games, but after last night I think I'm shocked. I logged into CoD:WaW to play a few rounds with my friends, mind you I'm a 20 year old female. In the pregame lobby some of the guys were messing aroun, not uncommon, but what shocked me the most was the language used by a child no older then 10. I literally choked on a soda when I heard what he was saying, and I wanted to throw soap in his mouth on the spot. Now I won't lie, I trash talk and have a tendency to get really aggressive when I'm playing but I don't think I could've ever imagined a kid saying things like this (rascist terminology, swear words, threats etc.). So we played a couple of matches together and out of nowhere this kid calls me out, starts bashing and talking about me. I decided since he wanted to talk like an adult I'd treat him like the other adult players, and I laid into him with every indecency and bit of relentless iritation I could fathom. I don't regret what I said and I know it's immature, but what came next made me want to throw up. He started crying, and he said he didn't want to play anymore. I felt terrible, I wanted to apologize but before I could he said- "Go figure, the girls at school pick on me now some *** on xbox live picks on me."  I sent him a message later apologizing for my conduct and explaining how angry he made me, I even offered to help him out in a few matches to improve his score and stuff a little bit. But instead of getting a reply from him I get a private chat with his mother, who cusses and yells at me! Totally flips out and tells me that her 'darling' son could've neer have said anything like I was accusing him of. Then she proceeds to harass me through messages, stalk my games and yell at me while in game, and basically tell me that she's going to have me kicked off live. I had to block communications wholly!

I'm not a parent, but I need to ask of the other parents, was it wrong for me to try and make ammends for what I did? Was I that out of line?

i dont think youre out of line. if these little kids can come online and trash talk like adults then they should be able to take that same trash talk in return.

i dont get it why did you apologize to a kid over the internet?? he obviously had it coming and his *** mom also deserved to get cussed out. i for one think that everyone is the same on xbox live. i dont treat people differently because of age. if someone is being an quantum singularity i be an quantum singularity back to them whether their 8 or 28.

---

General of the Army

I am a gamer myself and a father of a 5 and 9y/o boy. I honestly think he got what was coming to him and the mother is delusional.

I have a bad mouth and always try to do my best to keep profanity away from my kids but once in a while things slip out when something happens like stubbing my toe (son of a B!) or when talking to other adults and thinking the kids aren't around but they happened to walk in the room. These things happen.

If I caught my boy talking like that online, he'd be in a world of punishment. If he thought he could go on XBL and say all the things you described, I wouldn't care if you tore into him enough to make him cry. Maybe it woke that kid up from his delusion of thinkin he was a "big boy playin with the other big boys".

But then again my son wouldn't be playing M rated games on XBL with out me being near or at least being in the other room close enough to hear what he's saying. Then you can get an Idea of what is being said to him by his replies. (what is weed? stop telling me to suck it.) Just examples, whatever.

In my opinion it sounds like the mother is the main problem. If she could rage back at you so hard, and stalk you and such. I can gurantee that her son has seen and heard her do it many times before. He obviously got it from her. Shes delusional to think her precious little boy would never say things like that. Where on earth would he get those views and his language from? (sarcasm)
Not to mention that her son was probably there watching as she harassed you afterwards. Also teaching him great online manners. (more sarcasm)

Sure you probably shouldn't have gone off on the kid the way you did, but I've been pushed by online smack talk enough to get pissed before as well. At least you had a consience afterwards and did your best to convey apologies for your actions. Thats more than alot of other people would have done.

I have to admit, while reading the OP, I had to give a little chuckle when you mentioned him crying when he got a lil smack talking thrown back at him. But then felt bad about it after hearing about the girls picking on him. *shrugs* Kids can be so mean.

---

Kid wispers: "I see dead people"
Obi shouts: "Me too, SHOOT IT!!!!"

 Oldtimer001 wrote:

 Oldgamer68 wrote:

I think going off on him, in the first place was extreme. I'm quite sure that he deserved it but, just move on. Don't let children like that, keep getting a rise out of you.The mother, on the other hand, has no right to keep after you like that.

Agreed. Kids need to stop talking like that. He talked smack and then got smacked back. He showed how immature he was first by trash talking and second for crying about getting smacked back. However, if we want children to talk more like children, not like sailors, we should LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

Well we don't exactly know  what you said to him but what the mother was doing was completely out of line.

Parents theese days and their "my baby wouldn't do that" makes me want to scream!

---

Top games of all time:

-Fallout 3
-Resident Evil 4
-Grand Theft Auto:San Andreas
-Assassins Creed 2
-Left 4 Dead 2