It's been like that for me ever since I got the game, but I got it about a week before it came out officially, so I had to wait until people got it to play online. But it still took ages to find games. I think it's just because it was the first Assassins Creed to have multiplayer, so they weren't really that great with handling it. The servers were slow, and sometimes unreachable, even if several people were trying to find a game, it wouldn't put them together. It's probably not going to get better. :(
You also probably can't connect to your friends on the game for the same reason, the servers won't let you connect to each other.