Yeah, no. It didn't work. But I'd like to thank you guys for wasting 2 weeks and over 20 hours of my time and not admitting something is wrong on xbox's end with the update. I'd like to take another moment to thank you again for not providing a solution. And thank you again for treating me and everyone else like incompetent morons. And I am especially grateful that I get to spend my spring break playing offline games I've beaten a hundred times and mass effect 3 on single-player only. It's okay, I only have two jobs and am a full-time student so any time I get to LIVE is breaks and weekends.
I am so grateful. I feel like a valued customer. As I'm sure everyone else having problems with the update feels too. So please, tell me to reboot my modem, router and xbox again. Or how about clear my system cache? Open my ports? Check my NAT settings? Redownload my gamertag again? Or how about delete the last update and redownload it? Do it manually? Waste my money on a new router or modem? How about spend hours with my ISP? Sit on the forums? Spend another 20 hours with tech support telling me to do everything above all over again? Buy a new xbox?
Or, how about... You guys. Man up and admit fault and fix it. That is the only solution.